The middle is a convenient and easy place to be, where no arguments or controversies exist. The middle is a comfortable neutral point where conformity shares space with submission. The middle is a tedious place where no one, voluntarily should remain for a long time. Life is meant to be a continuous experiment. The middle is fine, but only temporarily. I must go to the extremes, both extremes. I should never be static, I should never allow myself to be overtaken by docility or mediocrity. I would rather be invisible than mediocre.

If I ever get lost, I should dig deep inside in my mind to find myself again, and break on through to the other side, to my inner light where my subconscious remains in the midst of heaven and hell. Limbo? Then while there, I should visit my personal storage dump, where all my repressed memories lie, and cleanse myself of regrets, fears, and sins too. And reconnect the mind and soul with my spiritual mortal body.

I should also distance myself from all human suffering that obscures my individual enlightenment, by crossing the abstract threshold that leads to the path of my intangible insight that helps me to assimilate the objectives of a meaningless life. I would also liberate the confined beliefs that could help me realize that suffering is never inherent to any situation. My good deeds will eventually guide me to my karma and to my final encounter with the ecstasy of reaching my own nirvana. 

I need to find the point where the past and the present collide to avoid an unmerciful future. I need to push the button to pause all brain activity so I can counteract a severe burnout.

Nihilism will cease to exist. My zenith will rise above my nadir. My reborn optimism will help me to obtain the best of all possible worlds. Now that I reached the highest happiness, I will create my perfect destiny. The ominous part of reaching Nirvana leads to a downward spiral to the depths of hell. Once you reach total spiritual bliss, total euphoric ecstasy you will crash against a wall of confusion . . . 

Damn! I can’t continue. I ran out of weed, that was my last joint. Now what?

Visalia, CA Jan-11-2012


Author: Edmundo Barraza

I was born in Mexico. I moved to L.A. in 1978. I became a USA Citizen a few years later. At the citizenship ceremony, I had to swear that I would fight against all foreign enemies (including Mexico) in favor of my new country. I beg God that never happens. I love music, Rock, funk, punk, soul, pop. Beatles, Stevie Wonder, Pink Floyd, The Clash, The Temptations, and all you can fit in between. Playing pool, listening to rock, and having a beer is great, but reading a book, writing a story, or watching a good film is even better. I hate guns, bad people, and evil leaders. I thank God I'm not a racist person. I hate all kinds of injustices. I love good people. I would give my life in a second to save any child. Children are the most precious thing in the world. My ultimate goal is to shoot a feature film based on one of my stories. Every day I work a little more to be able to reach that goal.

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